Mourning Processing Life

Procrastinating Life

It’s been a brutal week. We got the devastating news that someone close to us had passed away suddenly. It has stirred up so many emotions– a lot of grief, compassion for his family, ache for the fact that there is a hole that a dearly loved person once occupied.

One emotion surprised me– I was confronted with the fact that I spend much of my days procrastinating life. I realized that I am letting life’s little moments slip by as I wait for whatever I think is going to happen next. I have stayed in a snit with my husband a little too long because I know I can make it up to him later in the day. I have answered my kids a little too harshly when they ask for the 10th snack of the day. I have sat entire days being overwhelmed with stress. I have hurried along with my errands and not paid attention to the people all around me.

I have been procrastinating life.

I count on the fact that I’ll have time later today, tomorrow, or this week to fix an issue or enjoy life. That’s what smacked me right in the face this week. We don’t always have that extra time. What I do have right now is this moment. I don’t think that means that we have to walk on eggshells to make every moment “perfect”, but I do think that my mindset can shift so that my lifestyle reflects abundance.

I have the chance to multiply the beauty of whatever is in my hand at this moment.  My abundant lifestyle can include some things as a general rule. As a general rule, I’m quick to forgive and easy to resume laughter; as a general rule, I’m patient and kind; as a general rule, I enjoy the peace and beauty of everyday life; as a general rule, I notice and love the people around me.

Today is Memorial Day. Many of us are sitting and remembering, with fondness and heartache, people that our country has lost. I’ve seen postings today of friends honoring people that they knew. All of us have lost people in life, most of them way sooner than we were prepared to let them go.As we consider loss today, I’d like to encourage all of us to have life on the forefront of our mind in the days ahead. Let us live our moments with more love, more depth, more gratitude. Let us put more of our heart into our interactions, allow our true selves to be seen, do the hard work to maintain good relationships. I want to focus on enjoying the moment that I’m living. It’s not perfect, but it can still be beautiful.

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